Helping yourself and others through challenging times
When faced with a threat that we believe could harm us, the body’s biological response to fear (fight or flight) kicks in, flooding us with adrenaline and cortisol. This makes our hearts beat faster, our breathing shallow, we can sweat and shake, get headaches and vision problems (plus many other sensations) all of which can feel awful, but it also can make us feel like we may be ill, which adds to the anxiety. It can be hard to believe these physiological changes are designed to help us be stronger and run faster from real physical threat of an attacker when sitting in front of the TV watching the news. In our front rooms we don’t feel the need to respond with movement; and because we don’t move the feelings worsen and encourage more catastrophic thinking and even panic. For many, this response may also just be outside of awareness and not come to our attention, but there is tension and shallow breathing just below the surface that still feeds how we think and feel. It is important to know how to calm this response.
Calming anxiety
Learning effective breathing is essential: Breathing slowly through your nose allowing your belly to rise (rather than your chest) for a count of 4 and out through your mouth for a longer count of 6 or 7, brings oxygen and carbon dioxide levels back into balance and disrupts the stress response.
Relaxation:
Try yoga or mindfulness, which are available online and can be done at home
Have a warm, smelly bath to candlelight
Listen to soothing favourite music
Burn aromatherapy oils
Try a massage – ask your partner, it doesn’t need to cost!
Reading a good book or watching a feel good film (not a scary one!)
Play board games or cards
Hobbies such as baking or gardening are also relaxing as they distract the mind and allow mindful focus on the activity.
Exercise and fresh air: Walking, running, cycling will all use up adrenaline and by following the urge to move that anxiety gives us, our body gets back in balance. Exercise has many benefits and helps immune function too. These can be done indoors but doing them outdoors in small groups or alone, fits with the advice. It is also invigorating and gives us a chance to notice nature and our surroundings in a mindful way.
All of the above help us become more present focused and less pulled to future imaginings
Managing the anxious mind
What goes on in our minds causes much of how we feel and then how we behave, so it helps to become aware of what you are actually thinking and calm the language down. Anxiety causes our thoughts to become more extreme and anticipate the worst, so it’s important to check out the reality of the situation and counter-balance them….this is often what partners, family and friends do for us. It isn’t helpful to get tangled up in words that tell you the future is bleak when you could be thinking about and doing other things that matter to you more. Being able to step back from our thoughts is really helpful and we can do this by noticing and naming it in different ways:
Remind yourself to switch off radio doom and gloom from time to time.
See if you can identify the story you are telling yourself – is it the ‘no hope’ story or ‘I can’t cope’ story.
When you think something awful, instead of thinking “this is terrible”, try noticing it is a thought by saying “I’m having the thought that this is terrible”.
To encourage more rational and realistic thinking for this virus situation you could do a risk analysis – is there any reason to think I am at risk? And have I come into contact with a known source? What are a few things I can do most effectively?
How anxiety makes us behave and what to be aware of
Feeling anxious can cause us to engage in counter productive strategies. In this case, it might be constantly monitoring news updates to find reassurance but this relief will be short-lived and increase anxiety overall. Instead, find trusted sources of information like the NHS or government sites to get a clear picture and refer to it once a day. This will also insulate you from social media sites that spread alarmist rumours, exacerbating worry.
Avoid looking and checking for signs of illness. When anxious you are likely to focus on sensations that are harmless but will make you feel more anxious if you think they are an illness. Make yourself familiar with the particular symptoms of coronavirus and seek advice if you experience any of these.
Yes, we need to wash regularly, we are all getting sore hands now as we do need to wash a lot more than previously.
Be careful not to do things out of panic, like stocking up to extremes, as this will confirm to your brain that the situation is indeed catastrophic as well as making it harder for others to get what they need.
What else can I do that helps?
Avoid caffeine
Get some good sleep
Maintain your routine as much as possible
Eat healthy food and be aware of stress making you seek unhealthy food
Stay connected - personal relationships are important in maintaining perspective and elevating mood as we are distracted by the conversation so keep talking to those who do understand.
Follow practical advice from trusted sources
Helpful links –
This page is the NHS advice and has links to government pages
This is employee and employer advice from ACAS