What it takes to be a Samaritan

Being a Samaritan takes time, patience and above all empathy. 

I decided to join Samaritans for a number of reasons but mainly because of something I’d noticed with my clients. I mentor people in business on a 1-2-1 basis on how to have and maintain stronger and more rewarding relationships in the workplace both internally and externally. 

In 2017/18 I worked with a number of organisations and their employees, ranging from business owners to managing directors, from marketing assistants to receptionists. I found that increasingly almost everyone I worked with was dealing with stress and or anxiety at varying degrees. This was causing them to question their ability, their life choices and, in some cases, whether they wanted to be living at all. I became a safe place for them - to talk to, to confide in - but I felt I was not totally equipped to support them. Although I would signpost them in the right direction, I wanted to find out how I could understand more about how they were feeling. I realized just how many people must be suffering out there and mostly in silence (1 in 4 employees say nothing to their employers about their mental health). 

In January 2019 I started Samaritans’ training. I can honestly say it was the best training I’ve ever had. The course was very clever: we started slowly, talking about ‘how we would handle a particular scenario’ and then they would break it down and show us how it should be handled from a Samaritan stance. Then subtly each week, the listening skills and responses to varying situations were built up so that by the end of the 10-week course, you have role-played every single possible scenario.

The training improved my listening skills, I learned the true difference between sympathy and empathy (having thought I was already very empathetic, I learned how much I could still improve) and crucially, how to spot the signs of someone who is struggling. Some of these were key phrases like, “I’m scared, I’m lonely, I’m suicidal, I can’t cope”. Many people will try to offer sympathy in these situations, and give advice, but Samaritans teaches you how to respond and ask them to express their feelings in more depth. This is what it is like ‘being a Samaritan’.

When it came time to take my first call, I felt completely prepared and in fact it was so similar to a training scenario that I started to suspect it was one of the trainers testing me! I now relish my fortnightly shift: for four hours, I don’t think of myself once. But it isn’t just me, there are Samaritans across the UK doing exactly the same thing - listening, being there and not judging. 

“For four hours, I don’t think of myself once. But it isn’t just me, there are Samaritans across the UK doing exactly the same thing - listening, being there and not judging.”

I asked a fellow Samaritan if becoming a Samaritan had changed her at all and this was her response: “Becoming a Samaritan has always been something I wanted to do. It is meaningful to me and I thought that becoming a volunteer would be humbling purely by helping others but I didn’t realise quite the impact it would have on my life.“

“Since becoming a listening volunteer my mind has been opened up to a completely different way of communicating with people. I have found myself changing the way I deal with relationships in my personal life and yes, it has definitely given me more patience. I’d say I now stop and allow people to talk to me rather than worry about what my response is going to be. Becoming a Samaritan has helped me in my personal life too. Relationships within families can be fraught; children, husbands and parents can pull you from pillar to post but what I have learned has altered my perspective on how I deal with situations. I put myself in my family’s shoes to help them with whatever crisis we are going through – this is called empathy!”

“Since becoming a listening volunteer my mind has been opened up to a completely different way of communicating with people. I have found myself changing the way I deal with relationships in my personal life.”

I asked her how she felt when she was on shift? “As for my actual shifts, I have to say that before I start a shift, I look forward to it. You know you're going to be speaking with people who are in emotional distress and possibly awful pain and it may be a paradox for me to say that I look forward to it, but I do, because it's so rewarding. The possibility of helping someone just by listening and not judging them, however long it takes (and sometimes it could be an hour or an hour and a half before they put the phone down), when they say thank you, because you've really made a difference, that’s the biggest reward you can get.”

It isn’t easy ‘being a Samaritan’ and it takes a certain type of person to devote and give time to this organisation. So, what type of person does it take to be a listening volunteer? 

Not being judgemental is the most important attitude to have if you are thinking about becoming a Samaritan listening volunteer. My group during training was the most diverse group of people ever: retired men and women, university leavers, mothers, teachers, young and old but the one thing we all had in common was the ability to be open-minded. We all have preconceptions and biases but if you are a relatively self-aware person and are thinking about volunteering, this is what Samaritans is looking for but it does take commitment. The training is very intensive and quite time-consuming and at times can actually be quite upsetting as there is a good chance the things you are exposed to are things you haven't been exposed to before. But the reward is everything.

Whatever you’re going through, a Samaritan will face it with you. We’re here 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Call freephone 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org

To find out more about volunteering, email swhrecruitment@outlook.com

See our other blog articles and further advice on helping others.